The Other Forces
by evenstar710
Summary: Outtakes from The Forces that Break and Bind. I do not own Twilight or it's characters. Rated M because I'm not sure of everything going here yet.
1. Remember the Parking Break

**My first outtake from The Forces that Break and Bind. You voted and now I shall deliver.**

**And just so you know. I doubt any of these will be very long.**

**So, without further ado, here is my attempt at humor.**

Outtake 1 - Remember the Parking Break

EPOV

Sometimes I worry about myself.

Here I was in my garage running my hands over the sleek black paint of my brand new car. The very car I had been saving up for over the better part of the last decade. The Aston Martin Vanquish.

But it was just so pretty.

All smooth lines, shiny paint, and raw power. I had been waiting for this for years.

Just last night I had finally took this beauty home from the dealership. Unfortunately, I hadn't been able to take her out last night because I had to be at an intelligence briefing bright and early this morning. I didn't think saying that I had been out all night playing with my new toy would have gone over well when I feel asleep at the table.

So, like a good little soldier, I took my car home, put her in the garage and went to bed.

I had considered taking her to work this morning, but the last thing I needed in my pre-caffeine haze was gate security hitting me with a random inspection because they wanted a closer look at my car. I'd seen it happen before when Jasper splurged on his Porsche. He still has never taken to base since then.

So, I buried my disappointment at having to wait and took the Volvo.

On the bright side, after the meeting the guys and I decided to head down to the lake about an hour away for some good old-fashion guy time. The kind that didn't involve guns and blood.

One hour on twisting little two lane roads. Perfect.

I finally climbed into my car and started the engine. I may have shuddered.

Once I escaped the city and hit the open roads I opened her up. I smiled as I experience the feeling that only a vehicle of this caliber could provide.

I glanced up in my rearview mirror and realized that my eyes may have looked a bit too bright.

Maybe Em was right. I really did need to get laid.

I brushed off the thought and spent the rest of the trip calmly enjoying my ride. Well, mostly calm.

As I arrived at the lake, I parked behind Emmett's jeep and climbed out. I swear I didn't kiss the steering wheel.

"Man you finally got it!"

Emmett was running up to me at full speed while Jasper tagged along leisurely behind him.

I smiled like an idiot. Yup, I got my car.

A few of the other guys in our unit joined us as we popped the hood and discussed the various attributes of my beauty.

When we were heading back to the picnic area where beer and steaks awaited, I walked backwards a few steps just admire the way the sunlight hit her.

It was about fifteen minutes later, when we were all sitting around eating and chatting, that Emmett's eyes bugged out of his head.

"What's up with you?" I asked.

Emmett looked over at me. I couldn't tell if he was about to laugh or scream in pain. "Parking breaks are your friend, man."

It took a second for his words to sink in before I spun around and watched an horror.

My beautiful car had just finished its decent down the hill and now was splashing in to the lake.

I could only look on in horror as the water bubbled up around the rapidly sinking car. My wonderful, shiny, powerful, new car.

"Dude! You vanquished the Vanquish!"

At Emmett's outburst I turned around to glare at him.

Maybe it wasn't too late to swim down and stuff him in the trunk.


	2. Ass Kicking Lizards

Outtake 2 - Ass Kicking Lizards

Emmett POV

Three weeks ago we had been told to enjoy some down time. Problem was, we hadn't been able to pick the place to enjoy said down time.

At first, the idea of checking out the tropical island of Guam seemed awesome. However, when you're stuck on an island that's only seven by eleven miles, you run out of neat shit to do pretty fucking fast. Especially when you have nothing else to do _but_ exhaust all the attractions.

We had already seen Mts. Lamlan and Santa Rosa, been to both Talofofo and Tarzan Falls, and checked out CAHA Gallery, Latte Park, and War Dog Cemetery. All in the first week.

The last two weeks we had been skydiving, scuba diving, windsurfing, dolphin watching, and kayaking. Yesterday we had rented jet skis for the day.

Now we were sunburned and out of ideas.

We had just finished up some lunch at TGI Friday's and were walking out when I looked across the street and spotted the big colorful building. Game Works.

"I got it!" I shouted. "Lets get some drinks and play some games."

"It's barely one o'clock and you want to start drinking?" Edward replied. Damn responsible party pooper.

Jasper just stood there, obviously not caring either way.

"Do you have something better to do, Eddie?" I asked.

Edward glared at me. He hated to be called Eddie. It's why I did it. He was just too easy to get a rise out of sometimes.

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose, an obvious sign of his irritation. "Fine, let's go."

We walked down the steps and into the bright tropical sun. Even through my t-shirt, I could feel the heat beating down on my burnt back. I was definitely waiting awhile before we hit anymore water sports. I felt like I could cook steaks on my skin.

A minute later, I breathed a sigh of relief as we entered the cool air-conditioned building.

For a couple hours we sipped some beers and played some games. I was quite proud of myself for dominating the skeet-ball.

At about four-thirty we headed upstairs to the bar area for some food. That was when I finally noticed the sign behind the bar.

_One dozen assorted Jell-O shots for $10_

This was gonna be fun!

3 hours later

"Eddie Boy!" I yelled.

Edward spun around on his stool to face me, almost falling off the damn thing in the process. He managed to grab the edge of the bar a save himself from hitting the floor, but it was still enough to send me into drunken hysterics.

Jasper, who was sitting next to him, found it pretty fucking funny too.

Edward glared at us for a moment before he too busted out laughing. We were definitely drawing some attention, but we were just too drunk to care.

Finally managing to semi-compose myself, I stepped up between them and clasped a hand on either of their shoulders.

"I have got a fucking fantabulous idea," I announced.

Without even asking what it was, Edward jumped up and started walking away. "Well then lets go do this fantab-o-fucka-u-olous idea," he slurred.

I walked after him with a leftward lilting Jasper behind me. "Don't cha wanna know what's it is before us we's go and do it?" I asked. That sentence even sounded fucked up in my ears.

"Nope," Edward replied.

I snickered as I lead the way out of the building. Drunk Eddie was so much more fun than Edward. One could get Drunk Eddie to do any manner of stupid shit.

"So what are you doing anyways?" Jasper asked as we walked down the street.

I stopped, turned, and crashed into a mail box. After another round of laughter at my own expense, I held up a finger as though I was about to spill the meaning of life.

"It has occurred to me on this evening, that I has never ran down a beach naked."

Both just stared at me for a moment before Drunk Eddie tore off his shirt right there on the sidewalk, tossed it on the ground, and ran full speed down the pathway that led to the beach.

I looked back at Jasper who just shrugged his shoulders.

"I guess Drunk Eddie's game," I said before we followed.

We caught up to him a minute later standing at the top of the stone steps that led down to the sand just watching something.

"Whatcha got theres Eddie?" I asked.

He pointed at the steps. "Geckos."

I looked down and sure enough, there were four geckos just chillin' on the steps.

We stood there watching for a few seconds before I decided I wanted one. I reached down to grab one and it took off like a mini rocket. I gave chase, but the damn thing was quick. Every time I made a grab for it, it would turn around and shot back under me and onto another step.

I must have ran up and down those about ten time before the damn thing changed tactics. Instead of running under me it shot around me. I spun around and somehow managed to get my legs tangled together. I ended up going top-over-tea kettle right down the steps and landed face first in the sand.

After spitting out enough sand to make a full set of glassware, I looked up and found Drunk Eddie grinning at me.

"What the fuck are you so fucking giddy about?" I was trying to sound angry, but I think I just sounded constipated.

Drunk Eddie just grinned bigger and said, "The big bad Green Beret Emmett McCarty just got his ass handed to him by a fucking gecko."

I was never going to live this one down.


End file.
